St Mary's School, Warwick eNewsletter

Principal's Message

Dear Parents and Carers of the St Mary’s School Community,

Over the past few weeks, I have been reflecting upon the achievements we have made this year and the challenges we have had, as we begin to strategically plan where we need to go next year to continually embrace our school vision of “Empowering Learners for Success”.

Within our new school website we have included a synopsis of our 2023 Improvement strategies (2023 Improvement strategies - for parents (A4) (schoolzineplus.com)) and I would like to take the time to share my reflection on one aspect that has been significant for us this year, and will continue to be in 2024- Reading.

Reading is the process of decoding and making meaning from text. Unlike speaking and listening, reading is not a naturally developing skill – all students need to be explicitly taught to read.

As a parent, new or old within our school, you would have been exposed to the ways and resources used to teach and support reading. This year with the revision of the Australian Curriculum Version 9.0 and based on current research, our practices have changed in the area of reading.

Curriculum changes included:

Shift of focus in early reading to phonic knowledge
Removed reference to ‘predictable texts’ and the ‘3 cueing system’, moved to include the ‘Science of Reading’
Realignment of phonic and word knowledge from the Language strand into the Literacy strand
Etymological and morphemic knowledge in greater detail
Increased connection and specificity with comprehension

How has this impacted our school?

Resourcing: change from use of predictable texts to decodable texts in the classroom and for home readers in Prep to Year 2
Professional knowledge, skills and application – we started professional development with teachers in 2022 and have continued throughout 2023
Pedagogy: regular reflection amongst teachers about the impact of teaching and success of strategies used

What does the research say?

There is a wide range of research in the area of reading, that is referred to as the ‘Science of Reading’; highlighting that “it is the emerging consensus from many related disciplines, based on literally thousands of studies, supported by hundreds of millions of research dollars, conducted across the world in many languages. These studies have revealed a great deal about how we learn to read, what goes wrong when students don’t learn, and what kind of instruction is most likely to work the best for the most situations” (Dr. Louisa Moats).

Dr Hollis Scarborough has created the Reading Rope to convey how the different ‘strands’ of reading are all interconnected yet independent of one another. For many students, learning to read is a challenge. Scarborough’s Rope captures the complexity of learning to read.

At St Mary’s we introduced decodable readers into Prep to Year 2 to support best practices introduced by the revised curriculum. To understand more about decodable readers, I encourage you to read a recent review by Qld Government at An overview of the literature effective teaching of reading: Literature review (education.qld.gov.au) (page 16) or On porcupines and predictable text: What are predictable texts and why are they a problem? - Five from Five. My favourite analogy to understand the shift from predictable texts is from » The sweaty sounding-out stage builds reading muscle (spelfabet.com.au)

They teach children to fake fluent reading by memorising repetitive sentence stems and guessing the rest from pictures. This is a lot easier for adults to listen to, and if you believe reading should be fluent and easy from the start, it sounds like real reading.

If you went to a gym and they told you their weights were made of polystyrene because lifting real weights makes people sweat and grunt and isn’t pretty to watch, you’d walk straight out.

Predictable/repetitive texts are like fake weights at the gym. They make the exercise easier and less painful to watch, but they don’t build reading muscle.

2023 has been a journey for our staff and students understanding their purpose and how they support students’ reading. In 2024, we will continue to improve our practices by taking the next step to refine and review our phonics/spelling approach to support the development of reading. We are shifting from our traditional approach to phonics/spelling to utiising a systematic synthetic phonics approach (page 16, An overview of the literature effective teaching of reading: Literature review (education.qld.gov.au). Basically, we have to ensure that students can both decode words for reading and encode letters/sounds to spell.

I am confident to say that we have been in the learning pit just like our students, as this has been a pedagogical shift within our teaching practices, one for the betterment of all. I believe that the quote below from Maya Angelou says it all:

Having conversations with children and young people

The National Office for Child Safety has provided a series of resources on how to start sensitive conversations with children and young people as part of its ‘One Talk at a Time’ campaign.

The national initiative is part of the Australian Government’s recently launched child protection and safety campaign, and encourages adults in the lives of children to talk with them about feeling safe and where to seek support and help.

The campaign aims to prevent child sexual abuse by encouraging adults to learn about the issue and have preventative conversations with children, young people and other adults.

The initiative is a key measure under the National Strategy to Prevent and Respond to Child Sexual Abuse 2021-2030 and fulfils a recommendation of the Royal Commission into Institutional Responses to Child Sexual Abuse.

Find out how to have these conversations and access resources and guides for parents and carers at www.childsafety.gov.au.

Sincerely I want to thank all of our wonderful, flexible, creative teachers and staff for their daily contributions they make to our school to ensure it is a place of learning, support and care. Life within a school can be very challenging but I can confidently say that we tackle each speedbump with optimism, hope and professionalism. At St Mary’s we continue to ‘empower learners for success’.

Parents, you are the supportive backbone of St Mary’s and we appreciate you and acknowledge all that you do to live and breathe our school community. Enjoy your time with your child/ren to rest, relax, rejuvenate and celebrate the birth of Jesus throughout this holiday period.

Have a truly wonderful and blessed Christmas and see you all in the New Year!

Emma Timmins

Principal

Religious Life of the School

Nativity Celebration

This year we celebrated our school Nativity Liturgy with all of our students having a part of singing our way through an adapted Christmas story told by 6 lively donkeys and their donkey seller. It was a wonderful night filled with Christmas cheer and Christmas costumes. Many thanks to Mrs Lawson who worked with the Drama Group for the play and preparing all the students for the singing. Also, thanks to Mr Buchanan who has been teaching our school band and led us in the grand finale.

Akooramak & Churches of Christ Visit

On Friday we celebrated the end of our Year 6 students' primary school journey. It was a wonderful celebration of families coming together for morning tea and joining in our End of School Year Mass. We wish our Grade 6 students all the very best for their future.

St Vincent de Paul Thank You

The members of the St Vincent de Paul conference sincerely thank you the generous families who shared goodies in our Christmas appeal. These hampers will certainly make a difference to the disadvantaged in our community.

An Afternoon in the Holy Land

On Saturday, 9th December I will be holding an afternoon tea and opportunity to share my experiences in the Holy Land. It will be held in Assisi Place (back of the Old Church next door to the old Lower Campus) at 4pm. All are welcome and if you are able to please bring along a small plate of food to share.

Advent Candles

Our parish has a beautiful tradition of families carrying in the advent candles for each week of Advent (the four weeks of preparing for Christmas). It involves carrying the advent candle for that week in with the priest and waiting out the front while the special advent prayer is said. If your family would like to participate in this please contact Sharon Young on 0429 921 200.

Christmas Eve 6pm Mass

Christmas Eve 6pm Mass is a special family mass for our parish. Children dress as the characters of the Christmas Story and act out the Christmas story. The children also read, sing and carry in the offertory. All are welcome. If you will be attending the mass and your child would like to participate please contact Sharon Young. Practice will be on Monday, 18th December in the Church at 4pm. Please come along if your child would like to participate. All are welcome.

Parish Sacramental Program for 2024

St Mary's Parish Warwick Sacramental Program usually runs:

First Reconciliation - Term 1 for Year 3
Confirmation - Term 2 for Year 4
First Communion - Term 3 for Year 4

If you wish to enrol your child/children in the 2024 Sacramental Program please contact the Parish Office on 4661 1033 or warwick @ctwb.org.au

Enrolments will close by the end of business Friday, 8th December 2023.

Thank you

I would like to take the opportunity to thank you for the blessing that you are to our school community. We are truly blessed here at St Mary’s with beautiful children and families who work so hard to make St Mary’s the wonderful place that it is. The dedication and enthusiasm that our parents show towards our student’s education is exceptional. Thank you for the very many ways you support us at school.

My wish for you is that over this Christmas season is that you experience hope, peace, joy and love. Wishing you a very happy, holy and safe Christmas.

Christmas Wish

Sharon Young

Assistant Principal: Religious Education

Curriculum

Semester 2 Academic Report Cards

As we approach the end of Semester 2, it's a time of reflection and anticipation for both our students and their families. The upcoming release of the Academic Report Cards in Week 9 marks a significant milestone in our students' educational journey. It provides valuable insights into their academic achievements and areas for growth as we prepare to support their continued learning in 2024.

Firstly, it's essential to understand the grading system and what it signifies about your child's progress. A 'C' grade represents that a student is achieving at the expected year level standard. This grade is a positive indication of your child meeting the benchmarks set for their grade level, demonstrating a solid understanding of the curriculum content.

Equally important are the Effort grades. These grades reflect your child's dedication, resilience, and attitude towards learning. They are crucial indicators of how your child approaches their education, which can be as significant as their academic achievements. We encourage you to discuss these grades with your child, celebrating their hard work and encouraging a continued strong work ethic.

Effort_Grading_Rubric_Parents.pdf

For students who are still Developing towards the year level standard, these areas will be clearly identified in the report. It is important to remember that learning is a journey with its unique pace for each child. These insights will help us tailor our support strategies and learning plans for 2024, ensuring that every student receives the necessary guidance to reach their full potential.

We understand that report cards can bring a mix of emotions. Please remember that they are a tool for understanding and improving educational outcomes, not just a measure of performance. We encourage you to approach these reports as a starting point for constructive conversations with your children about their learning experiences, goals, and how we, as a school community, can support them.

Our dedicated team is committed to providing a nurturing and effective learning environment. Should you have any questions or concerns regarding the report cards, please do not hesitate to contact us. Together, we can make 2024 a year of remarkable growth and achievement for every student.

We are thrilled to announce an exciting development in our Language Other Than English (LOTE) curriculum for the upcoming year. From Prep to Year 6, our students will be introduced to Australian Sign Language (Auslan), an enriching addition that broadens our linguistic landscape.

Our journey through languages, transitioning from Spanish to Italian in recent years, reflects the evolving skills and expertise within our teaching team. In 2024, I am excited to inform you that I, Jess Harper, will be leading the LOTE program at SMW, integrating Auslan with our dynamic Drama curriculum. This interdisciplinary approach promises a unique and immersive learning experience, where language and expressive arts complement each other, enhancing students' understanding and creativity.

The introduction of Auslan signifies our commitment to inclusive and comprehensive education. Sign language is not just a tool for communication; it is a pathway to understanding diverse modes of expression. It is especially beneficial in a school community like ours, where we embrace students with varying hearing and speech capabilities. Learning Auslan will not only support these students but also cultivate empathy and inclusivity among all learners.

We acknowledge that adapting to a new language might be unexpected. However, this is a remarkable opportunity for our students to explore the world of languages in a multifaceted way. To aid this transition, we will provide detailed resources for families to participate and learn alongside their children at home.

This innovative approach to combining Auslan with Drama reflects our dedication to providing an education that goes beyond traditional boundaries. It prepares our students for a future where understanding and communication are key to building a compassionate and connected world. We are excited to embark on this journey with our school community, confident in the enriching experiences it will bring to our students.

Reflecting on 2023

As the Middle Leader, I wish to take a moment to reflect on our curriculum achievements this year. The introduction of Version 9.0 of the Australian Curriculum was a significant undertaking, and I commend our teachers for their dedication and effort in adapting to this change. Their commitment has been instrumental in the successful implementation of this curriculum across the school.

We've also witnessed the positive impact of our new Decodable Reading program. This evidence-based approach to teaching reading has led to remarkable improvements in our lower primary students' reading, writing, and spelling abilities. We are excited to continue developing in this space with the new Diocesan Approach to Reading coming in 2024.

Our professional development in Feedback practices for student success has been another highlight, laying the groundwork for further advancements in 2024. Additionally, the continuation of our Reboot program has further enhanced our ability to empower students in developing emotional self-regulation skills.

This year also marked the formation of our Technology Committee, a significant step in integrating and enhancing digital resources within our school. Their efforts in assessing staff and student needs will shape our Action Plan for Technology, driving us towards a more efficient and effective digital learning environment.

As we close this chapter and look forward to the new year, I extend my heartfelt gratitude to our school community. Wishing all our families a safe, merry Christmas, and a restful holiday season. May the new year bring joy, peace, and continued success.

Jess Harper
Middle Leader

Learning Support 2023 Overview

In 2023, at St Mary's School, our commitment to inclusive education has been a central focus of the Learning Support program, particularly with the implementation of ACARA Version 9.0. This year, our efforts have centred on fostering collaboration and open consultation with the Leadership Team, teachers, and parents to better address the needs of students requiring additional support. Working hand-in-hand with my colleagues, we've dedicated ourselves to effective planning, the implementation of targeted interventions, and the development of specific plans to ensure the unique needs of every student are met. Beyond this, we've collaborated closely with specialists, including our school Guidance Counsellor, to create a more comprehensive support network. As we look ahead, I am committed to continuing this collaborative effort to further enhance the inclusive learning environment at St Mary's, ensuring that both students and teachers benefit from a supportive and adaptive educational experience.

Christine Byrne

Learning Support

Positive School Culture

Greetings, St Mary’s School Community,

Acknowledgement to the Land:

In recognising First Nations' profound connection to Country, I respectfully acknowledge the rich diversity of Australians, both Indigenous and non-Indigenous. Embracing our shared duty as caretakers, we honour Indigenous peoples as custodians of the land's voices, entrusted with the vital task of conveying these whispers to the world. Together, we traverse this sacred landscape, promoting understanding and unity on this ancestral land.

As we reflect on the past school year, I am delighted to share the remarkable achievements within our First Nations education program. As your Cultural Advisor and Australian First Nations Education Officer, my focus has been on weaving cultural richness into the fabric of our school community.

Embracing First Nations Perspectives:

Our classrooms have thrived with the infusion of First Nations perspectives into daily activities, fostering a deeper understanding of Australia's diverse heritage among students and educators alike.

For example, the Year 3 Kangaroo & Dingo Connection Workshop delved into the rich tapestry of First Nations Australian philosophy, exploring the profound relationship between the kangaroo and dingo.

Kangaroo's Unity:

Dreamtime stories unfolded the kangaroo's role in the Australian landscape, symbolising unity and balance. Students reflected on the interconnectedness between this iconic creature and the environment.

Dingo's Companionship:

Discovering the dingo's place highlighted themes of companionship and mutual respect. Students gained insights into the symbiotic relationship between the dingo and the land.

Group Reflections:

Small groups engaged in discussions, sharing their perspectives on the unique roles of the kangaroo and dingo. This fostered a deeper understanding of how First Nations Australians view the intricate web of relationships in nature.

Cultural Insights:

The workshop concluded with reflections on the broader context of these relationships, connecting it to the caretaking philosophy ingrained in First Nations Australian culture.

A meaningful journey into cultural understanding and the interconnectedness of Australia's native inhabitants!

Cultural Contributions to School Life:

The cultural pulse is resonating through St Mary’s, as our students actively contribute to the school's vibrant atmosphere from a diverse cultural lens. This inclusivity not only enriches our environment but also nurtures a sense of unity and respect.

Supported by the school, our initiative seamlessly integrates First Nations wisdom into our educational tapestry. The First Nations education officer regularly visits the kindergarten, captivating students with immersive Dreamtime stories, hands-on art projects, and vibrant music sessions, crafting a tangible bridge for our young learners transitioning from kindergarten to primary school.

Elevating Cultural Awareness:

A significant stride has been made in enhancing cultural awareness, fostering an environment where students learn about and respect the diversity of gender identities. Our inclusive educational approach promotes understanding and acceptance.

The collaborative support from the school's First Nations committee is instrumental in empowering the First Nations education officer to advocate effectively, reinforcing a collective commitment to diversity.

Educational Resources for Enriched Learning:

We've equipped our dedicated teachers and curious students with a treasure trove of educational resources. These materials emphasise the importance of acknowledging Australia's shared history and celebrate the caretaking traditions embedded in our land.

Dreamtime Stories for Personal Growth:

Using a teaching method that focuses on both psychology and education, students explore personal growth through Dreamtime stories. These stories, created based on their own experiences, help them see life from a connected perspective, enhancing their relationship with the world around them.

Yarning Circle: A Cultural Oasis:

With the support of our Parent Engagement Network, we are bringing to life our outdoor Yarning Circle. This stands as a testament to our commitment to cultural connectivity. This sacred space, designed for dialogue and learning, serves as a nurturing environment for both students and teachers to deepen their understanding of First Nations culture.

Health Checks for Holistic Wellbeing:

In collaboration with Carbal Medical Services, St Mary’s School has successfully completed 715 health checks on over 98% of our indigenous students, including those in Kindergarten. With parental consent, these health checks empower our teachers and support staff to ensure that every student has access to appropriate care, fostering holistic wellbeing and enhancing educational opportunities.

I extend my heartfelt gratitude to the staff and the Leadership Team for their unwavering dedication and tireless efforts in cultivating a positive culture of caretaking. Your support is integral to the success of our shared journey.

As we celebrate these achievements, let us continue to foster an environment where each member of our school community feels seen, heard, and valued. Together, we embark on a journey of shared caretaking for the land, inspired by the rich traditions that bind us.

Wishing you all a wonderful year ahead.

Yours in cultural enrichment,

Ken Brown

Cultural Advisor

Australian First Nations Education Officer

School_Newsletter_Reboot_Overview.pdf

Student Awards

Congratulations to the following students who received an Award for Friday, 24th October 2023:

	Exceptional Learning Award	Making Jesus Real Award
Prep H		Mason M
Prep W	Rahma A	Ella F
1D		Olivia D
1B	Toby D	Hamish J
2S	All of Year 2 Stevenson
2D	All of Year 2 Delisser
3ML	Ruby A, Darcy S, Ryan H	Hugh F, Marnie R
3B	Madeleine P, Amelia-Rose B	Deakon B
4K	Abby L	Benji B
4/5H	William M, Thomas C	Kayden G, Ashton O
5D	Campbell R	Mia J
6F	Sammy M, Joshua F	Charlie M, James K
6C	William Co	Summer T, Mair G

Spotted Rising Up

Congratulations to all the students who have been 'Spotted Rising Up'. The prize winners were Ella F, Eliza J, Maddie E and Kennedy D, which was announced at Assembly on Friday, 24th November.

Please celebrate with your child if they have brought home a Spotted Rising Up slip. It means that they were 'spotted' displaying one or more of the RISE UP positive behaviours.

Administration

2024 Booklist Resources

2024_Booklist_Amounts_1_.pdf

2024 School Fee Schedule

SChool_fees_2024.pdf

The link to our Direct Debit Form is: ADF4516 - ADF Direct Debit Request (DDRS) Form_SCHOOL.indd (schoolzineplus.com)

2024 School Arrangements

Commencement of School Prep-Year 6: Tuesday 23rd January, 2024 8:35am-3:00pm. Please bring school bags, lunch boxes, water bottle, hat.

Office Hours before School Commences: Starting Monday, 15th January 9.00-3.00 pm. Due to staff training during this week please phone the school on 4661 1872 to check that the office is open.

Office Hours for 2024 during Term Time 8.00 am - 4:00 pm

Date Claimers for 2024

Term 1: Tuesday, 23 January - Friday, 28 March

Term 2: Wednesday, 15 April - Friday, 21 June

Term 3: Tuesday, 8 July - Friday, 13 September

Term 4: Tuesday, 30 September - Friday, 6 December

Professional Development and Planning Days for 2024

The designated Professional development and planning days (previously called Pupil Free Days) for 2024 are:

Monday, 22 January
Monday, 15 April
Monday, 8 July
Friday, 26 July
Friday, 30 August

Other Important Dates in 2024

Meet the Teacher - Wednesday, 17^th January at 2pm. Class lists will be posted and students will have the opportunity to meet their 2024 teacher. Students could also bring along the 3 things that they need to provide - an art shirt, headphones (preferably over the ear and not BluTooth) and a library bag.

Swimming Carnival - Monday 5^th February for students turning 9 or older in 2024.

CyberSafety Presentation - Our first Parent Engagement for 2023 will be with Brett Lee on CyberSafety followed by a welcome BBQ. This will be held on Thursday, 1^st February at 5:30pm.

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year

On behalf the Administration team here at St Mary's, we would like to wish you all a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year and we look forward to seeing all your wonderful smiling faces in 2024!

Library News

As we mark the end of 2023, we can celebrate reading success knowing that our students collectively borrowed more than 15,000 books from the library this year. Your support with Book Club and Book Fair generated valuable rewards dollars that we were able to use to purchase new books and resources, ensuring that students continue to have access to new and popular titles in one convenient and accessible location.

A special thank you too to our team of parent volunteers who have generously dedicated a multitude of hours to covering these new books for both the library and classrooms. We are very grateful for your support.

eBooks and eAudiobooks for summer reading...

Don’t forget that you can continue to access our collection of ebooks and audiobooks over the summer holidays using the ePlatform app. It contains an extensive collection of new and popular titles, as well as plenty of classics for primary school students.

Visit https://toowoombaresourcecentre.wheelers.co/ or download the app to start borrowing. Students can use their St Mary’s login for access.

ClickView

Bring the magic of Hollywood home over the holiday break with student access to our multimedia streaming service, ClickView. In addition to valuable learning resources, ClickView also offers a range of popular movies and television programs suitable for primary school students.

Visit https://www.clickview.net/ to access this extensive collection of videos aligned to the primary curriculum using your student’s St Mary’s login.

Visit your local library

Families are also reminded to take advantage of the free public library services offered by Southern Downs Regional Council (SDRC). With branches at Warwick, Stanthorpe and Allora, students can access a broad range of children’s books to keep up their reading skills over the summer holidays.

The SDRC Libraries also offer a Summer Reading Club, which is a free program designed to encourage a love of reading and literacy skills development amongst children and young people. Participants can visit the library from 1 December to pick up a free pack and start to record their summer holiday reading. There are Summer Reading Club prizes to be won, as well as other kids’ activities in the library over the school holidays.

For more information visit https://southerndowns.spydus.com.

Happy reading and best wishes for a safe and relaxing holiday break!

Sport

Swimming Carnival Date Claimer

We have secured a date for the swimming carnival next year - Monday, 5th February 2023. Students turning 9 years and older will participate in the carnival.

Sports Dates for 2024

These are the draft sport dates for 2024 Southern Downs and Darling Downs events. Please know that these dates sometimes change and you will be updated as they do on the school calendar. Parents will be asked to nominate their children for SD events at the beginning of next year (except swimming, cross country, athletics which are determined at our carnivals).

2024_Southern_Downs_School_Sport_Calendar_09.11.23.pdf

Tuckshop

Thank you to all of our wonderful volunteers who have helped out in the Tuckshop with Kathy Moses this year! Your help is much appreciated to ensure a smooth running tuckshop.

Thank you again and have a wonderful, safe and happy Christmas!!!

Parent Network

2023 Parent Engagement Network Summary

This was the first year St Mary’s did not have a P and F committee, instead a Parent Engagement Network (PEN) was created. The movement to a PEN was to alleviate pressures off families, but also to create an engagement platform through information nights/sessions and sub- groups, for the benefit of our children and school community, all in collaboration with the Principal.

These information sessions addressed topics of concerns relating to the changing environments that our children and families are faced with. These included guest speakers that discussed Cyber Safety and an information session around brain-based regulation program called Reboot. Moving forward, we encourage families to make suggestions of what information sessions they would like to see addressed in the coming years.

We held a successful Trivia night not only to raise some funds but to have a night of fun and laughter with the school community, its always a great night. These funds will contribute towards the new learning circle/yarn space.

Under the guidance of our Principal Emma, we have also provided up to date resources/furniture for the school and are in the process of making the school more energy efficient, installing solar in the new year.

As outgoing Chairman and Secretary, Silvana Malone and myself wish the new network all the best in the coming years. We also encourage new and old families to become engaged as it’s a great way to be involved in your child's/ren school experience.

Wayne Carey (Chairman) and Silvana Malone (Secretary)

Congratulations to our raffle winners:

1st - Jake Seibel

2nd - Gregory Hoffman

3rd - Avan Jaarsveld

Many thanks for all the support of the Parent Network Engagement Christmas Raffle.

Our successful Parent Engagement Network has been operating for the past year, and has seen a growth in the number of parents coming along to share their views or learn more about how to support their child’s learning. At each forum parents also hear more about the progress of our school improvement priorities, how our budget and additional funds raised are being used and how the social events and activities are continuing to build our community. As our PEN goes from strength to strength we are looking for a new Chair and Secretary to join the Executive. To find out more or express your interest, you can either discuss with Wayne Carey or Silvana Malone, current executives or contact Emma Timmins at emma.timmins@twb.catholic.edu.au.

PEN_2024_forums_flyer_1_.pdf

Parenting Ideas

Take Back Christmas

Christmas is the season that “should” fill us with joy. We are supposed to be relaxing. We are supposed to be spending time with those we love. We are supposed to be indulging just a little bit more than normal in some of the finer things of life.

For some of us, that’s precisely what we do. Christmas is a delight.

Many of us, however, want to love Christmas. We know we “should”. It’s just that… well… we don’t seem to be able to. Time pressure and financial strain combine with big crowds, Christmas feast preparation and RELATIVES! We love our family. We love our in-laws. We just don’t like being around them very much, particularly at Christmas.

The reason?

Some relatives don’t really get it. The house feels crowded. The kids feel cramped. Uncle Jim starts talking about the latest controversial not-for-kids programme on Netflix at the table in front of the kids. Grandma sits on the couch and starts playing a game on her phone. Your brother’s new girlfriend makes an offensive comment about your house, cooking, political view, or haircut. No one takes the hint on when it’s time to go home. At least three people have had too much to drink. And everyone watches while you do all the cooking and all the cleaning up!

And all of this is exacerbated when there’s travel involved, so sleepovers are required. Now you’re navigating your space with people you love, but don’t necessarily always like, particularly when you’re sharing your space with them.

Perhaps this is an over-exaggerated caricature. But we’ve all had that uncomfortable Christmas season where exhaustion rules, everyone is coming over for Christmas Day, and we’re really nervous because of the last big blow up that caused significant friction in the family.

In this article, I’m going to share 7 strategies to beat the Christmas Grinch and...

TAKE BACK YOUR CHRISTMAS!

.01 Create some structure

I know this sounds awful. I know you’re thinking “no way”, I just want to relax. But hear me out:

If you have an outline of your afternoon or evening, you can communicate some general expectations to everyone. What time will everyone eat? Will gift giving be early or late? Do you have backup activities in case kids start complaining that they’re bored? Are there any traditions or faith-related priorities that need to be locked in?

You may not need to have these kinds of things prepared, but by having the scooters ready, a Christmas movie downloaded and ready to go, or your favourite walk mapped out, you can redirect people when things get tricky. Kids fighting? Send them out to play one of those games, switch on Netflix, or send them on a walk. The same things goes for the grown-ups. You never know who’ll need some distraction or redirection on Christmas Day.

.02 Practice acceptance

Your children might groan and moan. Your partner might be apathetic or misaligned with your view. Simply accepting that this is how things are can be a helpful approach for you to get through the day. But it could also be useful for your kids. Do they hate the way a grandparent talks down to them or treats them? Make a joke about it. Accept it will happen and make a bet with them about how many times that “thing” will be said or done. Encourage them to be polite always, but create your own in-jokes that can be shared privately to foster an acceptance that “it is what it is".

If your partner views things differently to you, see the world through their eyes. What does it mean to them to have family around? Why do they respond the way that they do? How can you support them to get through these challenges better?

.03 Craft your joy

What brings you joy at Christmas? Is it a good book by the pool? A favourite meal? Cuddles and gifts in bed with the kids on Christmas morning? The opportunity to decorate and cook? Create the space to find your moments of joy and bliss during the lead up and on the day.

.04 Assume the best intentions

Perhaps your father-in-law says offensive things, particularly when he’s had a drink or two. What he is saying to you might reek of political incorrectness. It may offend your sensibilities. And you may be right! But in all likelihood he’s trying to share something important to him. He believes he is right and wants you to realise his wise ways.

The same applies to comments on the garden, the cooking, the kids… in their own clumsy way your relatives are trying to be helpful by pointing out all of your faults and everything that’s wrong with the way you live your life. It’s clumsy. It’s wrong-headed. It’s inappropriate. But… they’re trying. Not in the way you’d like them to try, granted. But they are trying. Assume the best intentions and you’ll find it easier to stomach.

.05 Find ways to serve one another

A wise mentor taught me that as we serve others, our love for them increases. And as our love for others increases, we desire to serve them more. Find joy in your service to your family. Express appreciation to them for taking the time to be with your family when they could have chosen alternatives at Christmastime (even if you think you’d have preferred that they did). As you serve them, watch their appreciation. Feel the love. My tip: serving your family will bring you closer together. Do it willingly without expectation and feel the way it shifts your heart.

.06 Heal wounds

There is something deep inside each of us that desires closeness with kin. We are biologically and psychologically predisposed to want to connect with family, share involvement and experiences, and simply be together. When those relationships rupture, Christmas time and other festive family occasions can be isolating. Wounds can fester. Sometimes the best way to make family feel close is to swallow our pride, acknowledge our faults, and say sorry. Unconditional apologies (where we don’t demand that our apology be met with another one from them) heal families and make being together joyful.

.07 Serve a higher cause

When we come together with a common purpose, particularly one that is deep and meaningful, difficulties can be overcome and relationships can be strengthened. Some families use Christmas as a time to donate to a cause together or volunteer in the community. Some choose to work as a family to decorate their home and yard with Christmas lights that bring delight to the neighbourhood. And for those with a faith background, service through religious participation can also bind families and strengthen relationships.

When all else fails...

These 7 strategies can bring families closer at Christmas. But… sometimes, regardless of how hard you try, family functions are just too hard. You may not be able to get along. When this happens, the following three ideas might help:

Stay polite. Just grin and bear it. It will all be over in a few hours (or days if they’re staying)
Set your expectations low. It’s the secret to happiness. Low expectations mean that if things go the way you expect, it’s not a disappointment. But with low expectations it’s easier to be pleasantly surprised
Set boundaries. It’s ok to say “Jeff, the last three years we’ve had issues. We’re keeping alcohol off the table this year.” If Jeff has a problem (and wants to bring his own) you can say “No. Not this year.”

And these two last-resort options might help:

Set up your day so that some “unexpected” friends drop by at just the right time to ease the pressure. A visit from a friend or neighbour will lift everyone’s mood, give you some respite, and encourage your family to be on their best behaviour.
Cancel Christmas. Sometimes it might actually all be too much. If you just can’t face it, don’t.

Ultimately, no one can ruin Christmas for us. We get to decide. Sure, our family might have their quirks and challenges. But we are the ones who decide whether we will be annoyed. We are the ones who decide whether to take offence. We are the ones who decide our response. Your relatives don’t make you mad. You choose it.

This Christmas, choose gratitude, forgiveness, service, and connection. This Christmas, choose joy.

Source - Take Back Christmas - Happy Families

Notices

St Mary's Kindergarten - An exceptional place of learning and friendship.

Please contact director, Mrs Marie Sullivan, on 0488 665 525 if you would like a FREE place for your child next year. Limited places available and bookings being taken for following years.

OSHC_Christmas_Vacation_Care.pdf

Summer_Holidays_2324_3_.pdf

Term 4 Week 9 2023